Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
