And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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