apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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