I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I see more hoeing in ur future
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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