UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
