I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
This baby is an asshole
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
