god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
