5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
