The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
