I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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