So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i think i just lost a toe
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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