I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
