i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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