there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
