hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
