Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
