so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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