I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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