Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
