I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
