Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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