I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
