YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
