Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We need to get me chipped asap
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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