marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This is not my ceiling
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
