This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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