did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
