Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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