ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
