break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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