he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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