You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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