So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just threw up on my dentist
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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