My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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