bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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