we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
