well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
