Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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