Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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