I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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