Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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