Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
