dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
