He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
