Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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