im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
