Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
