i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
