i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
