no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
