I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
