tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
