so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
